Dearest 20-year old self,
You have been thus amazing. However, there are some things I wanted to tell you if only I can go back in time.
Right now, you may be getting ready for school. You are in your third year in college. Wow! This is the time that you will be thinking, “how the hell did I choose accounting as a field to study?!” Well, you know what? You are on the right track. You can lose focus sometimes, but do not get lost. You will make it with a little bit of faith and more hard work. You know what? Accounting is fun and easy. And when you start working, it becomes even easier.
You were an astounding student from kindergarten to high school. But in college, you will become regular and average. Sometimes, it hurts you. But it is OKAY! And you are doing fine. Let the stress and anxiety of what people at home will think of you when they learn about the mediocrity you are facing. After all, it is very important that you are also having fun at college while studying hard.
In college, you will also learn a lot of other things than what is taught inside the classroom. It is where you will get your first heartbreak (since you’ve never experienced it in high school. Haha.) I am bothered though that I am laughing at you about this. Because it is far better that you didn’t experience it in high school. Otherwise, you would have been really devastated. It is where you’ll think that you have found the ultimate love of your life. And you will dream of a life together. Just so you know, you didn’t end up together. I wonder if you will ever still go through it when you knew that you would not end up with each other.
And also, it is where you will find extraordinary people who will help you all throughout. You gained friends that will remain your friends until you leave college, start working, and build a family. It is amazing how the friendships you gained at this point in time are still as they are years after although there will be lesser communications because they, too, are living their own lives.
By this time, your mother started battling cancer, too. I know it is hard, especially when you do not know what to do and how to take care of her. She understands. But know that you will need to strengthen your heart. I know you are strong, but also know that it is okay to be weak and cry it out. Always be there for inah for she will not be around for too long. In fact, she will leave when she knows you are already stable and matured enough to face it all. It is hard when she is not around. I have never moved on completely. There are times that I would wish to see her. That’s why you should always be by her side. And I know, you did.
Jsyk, you got married by 27 and had a very handsome baby by 28, just as you initially planned it, or shall I say planned by Allah SWT. Your would-be husband is not perfect, but he is good-looking, witty and funny just as you wanted. Haha. He would do anything just to be with you and make you feel loved, wanted and needed. It is probably the reason why you got married after only seven months of knowing each other. You got swept and fell hard! Hahah!
Anyway, I will end it here!
Your 28-year old self with a baby!